Instead, I dodged the question, and passed blame. Oh, the other person's attitude changed. Well, it must have been the medication. And grasping for straws....I guess it was nothing short of a miracle! Don't laugh, I'm pretty sure that went through my head. Why was it impossible for me to say, "I changed. My attitude changed. I have been praying for a revelation, patience, understanding, knowledge." Well, that would be difficult to say because it would admit to others that I had it all wrong.
I can directly correlate the situational shift with traveling to work last Monday. I almost got in a head on collision on the way to work. An older man was on the way to work, his tire blew going 60 mph on a two-lane, and he crossed into my lane loosing control of his truck. I slammed on breaks, he veered into a ditch to my right, skidded across the ditch, took out a road sign, and flipped onto his side in a ditch off of a side road. Fortunately, when I turned around to check on him, we were all okay {let the random hugging of strangers commence}. My devotion that morning included the verses from Colossians 1:15-22:
15 Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.
He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,[a]
16 for through him God created everything
in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
Everything was created through him and for him.
17 He existed before anything else,
and he holds all creation together.
18 Christ is also the head of the church,
which is his body.
He is the beginning,
supreme over all who rise from the dead.[b]
So he is first in everything.
19 For God in all his fullness
was pleased to live in Christ,
20 and through him God reconciled
everything to himself.
He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth
by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.
He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,[a]
16 for through him God created everything
in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
Everything was created through him and for him.
17 He existed before anything else,
and he holds all creation together.
18 Christ is also the head of the church,
which is his body.
He is the beginning,
supreme over all who rise from the dead.[b]
So he is first in everything.
19 For God in all his fullness
was pleased to live in Christ,
20 and through him God reconciled
everything to himself.
He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth
by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.
21 This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. 22 Yet
now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his
physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence,
and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single
fault.
All of these things, Christ did for me. Yet, I still get it wrong. Maybe it is so hard to admit that we are wrong because Christ, in his very being, was/is perfect. I strive to be a Christian, a little Christ, yet fall so short. So, of course, it is much easier to pass blame on to others because that would then make the other person/people wrong, and me right. Right? Fortunately, Christ has filled those gaps for me and reconciled me to him and I am allowed and expected to be wrong. Admitting, accepting responsibility, repenting, changing..... those are the things that set Christians apart. So what changed? I can confidently say that it was me.
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