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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Anatomy scan....with more implications

We went to our appointment in New Bern for our anatomy scan after some bumps in the road with scheduling.  Let's just say one of the receptionists assumed that since I was going to Greenville, she should cancel my appointment.  Needless to say I was hot to trot!  Mandy had specifically told me to keep the appointment since my high risk appointment was so far away and it may put our minds at ease a little bit.  So after getting it rescheduled for the same time, we headed off to East Carolina Women's Center on Monday, November 24 to find out what we were having if our baby had indicators of Down Syndrome.  Funny how perspective changes things.  In fact, I wasn't the least bit excited, knowing that we could leave broken.

We arrived about 15 minutes early because the office will cancel your ultrasound appointment if you aren't there on time.  And then, the tech was running about 20 minutes behind.  So that meant that we waited for an exorbitant amount of time and my nerves built up even more.  When we finally got called back for our ultrasound, my nerves were a mess and a student from Pitt Community College was helping out.  I laid down and we immediately saw our little one pinging around gleefully in my belly.  That may or may not have been because I drank 12 oz of orange juice about an hour before! :)  The tech kept saying, your baby is one of the wiggliest little ones-- haha, whoops! After about 25 minutes of ultrasounding, and very little conversation related to what was happening, I broke down.  I started crying (poor ultrasound student) and explained that I was a basket case.  So our tech, Currie, told me a little about what they were seeing.  She told me not to worry, that she was seeing some good things, but pretty much left it at that.  Afterwards, we met with Mandy who eased our fears significantly.  She told us that no soft markers had been found and that she was even less concerned than before (which wasn't much).

We left the doctors office with some ultrasound pictures and much more peace of mind than we had come in with.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot- and an envelope with a gender picture!  Jacob and I went home for a quiet dinner of leftovers and sat on the couch, processing, and watching TV together. About 2-3 hours after getting home, we finally decided to open the envelope and we found out that IT's A.....  Just kidding!  We haven't told our families :-)

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Praising Him in the Storm: Getting the Call...Not the Letter

On Wednesday, November 12 I went to the doctor for a routine (or so I thought) blood draw.  Now I know, that I had the option to not have this blood work done and several of my close family and friends went that route.  But nonetheless, God had a purpose for me.

The labs were testing for Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21), Edward's Syndrome (Trisomy 18), and Open Spina Bifida.  The appointment only took 5 minutes, and I talked and joked around with the lab techs about not drinking enough water that day so that my weight gain wouldn't be astronomical.  PS- I didn't even get weighed that day- haha!

When we got home all we did was cry and pray.  We called our families and they cried and prayed with us. Because a different doctor had ordered the testing, my midwife had not received the results and couldn't give me any more information than "You screened positive" and "It could be a false positive".  We immediately began reading up on the internet about what all of this meant and what this crazy blood test was that I had unknowingly agreed to!  We found some information that led to questions for my midwife to answer the following morning.

  1. What was my risk ratio?
  2. What was my maternal age ratio?
  3. What are the next steps?
My midwife, Mandy, called me first thing on Tuesday morning and went over everything with us.  We both went to work and got on a conference call when she called me.  My risk ratio was 1:107 and the cutoff was right in the middle.  My maternal age ratio was 1:716.  Mandy told us that we shouldn't be completely worried yet, that she really would be concerned if my ratio was 1:25.  But, of course, the encouragement was lost on me.  I began questioning everything that I done and how my life had developed.  Things that were literally laughable came to mind.

Results I later got from my midwife
I may or may not have gone out to dinner with two very good friends and wondered allowed if my incessant back popping had caused this.  Yes, utterly ridiculous.  But, it shows just how clouded my brain was and how closely I examined everything I had done. 

Our week was spent in constant prayer and I had daily instances (usually multiple times a day) of emotional breakdowns.  Throughout the week we got phone calls, texts, emails, and visits with friends that proved to us the power of the body of Christ and the comfort that He can provide through His people.  

After a sweet phone call from my Pappaw, I began to memorize Psalm 139, with a vow to have the entire Psalm memorized by the time baby Morgan arrives. I also found great comfort in one of the things I turn to most often,  music.  I listened to lyrics closer than ever before and poured out my heart to God.  

God, our desire is for our baby to be free of any chromosomal abnormalities.  We beg this of you.  But, as Jesus said on the cross....Father, if there is any other way, take this cup from me.  Yet, not my will, but yours. 

Hardest. Prayer. Ever. 

Broken Hallelujah, The Afters

Never Once, Matt Redman

Praise you in This Storm, Casting Crowns

You are For Me, Kari Jobe

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Baby Bump: Week 14

Sorry, it's a little blurry!
How far along? 14 weeks, 6 days (I'm terrible at taking pictures at the beginning of the week)

What's baby up to? Baby is the size of a lemon.  She can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his or her thumb! Kidneys are producing urine and he/she now measures about 3 1/2 inches long and weighs about 1.5 oz.

Total weight gain: Still just 1 pound

Maternity clothes? No, but regular clothes are getting tighter

Symptoms: Headaches- MAJOR headaches, tired but that is slowly but surely getting better, still some dizziness

Sleep: Pretty good

Food cravings: None

Food aversions: None

Miss anything? Caffeine!!  But, I'm hoping that after pregnancy I can stay away from the caffeine.  We'll see how that goes!

Best moment of the week: Nothing stood out as *fantastic*, but nothing was terrible either!  I'll take those kinds of weeks :-)

Looking forward to: Seeing my sweet friend Heather who moved to Washington State.