The labs were testing for Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21), Edward's Syndrome (Trisomy 18), and Open Spina Bifida. The appointment only took 5 minutes, and I talked and joked around with the lab techs about not drinking enough water that day so that my weight gain wouldn't be astronomical. PS- I didn't even get weighed that day- haha!
When we got home all we did was cry and pray. We called our families and they cried and prayed with us. Because a different doctor had ordered the testing, my midwife had not received the results and couldn't give me any more information than "You screened positive" and "It could be a false positive". We immediately began reading up on the internet about what all of this meant and what this crazy blood test was that I had unknowingly agreed to! We found some information that led to questions for my midwife to answer the following morning.
- What was my risk ratio?
- What was my maternal age ratio?
- What are the next steps?
My midwife, Mandy, called me first thing on Tuesday morning and went over everything with us. We both went to work and got on a conference call when she called me. My risk ratio was 1:107 and the cutoff was 1:270....so right in the middle. My maternal age ratio was 1:716. Mandy told us that we shouldn't be completely worried yet, that she really would be concerned if my ratio was 1:25. But, of course, the encouragement was lost on me. I began questioning everything that I done and how my life had developed. Things that were literally laughable came to mind.
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| Results I later got from my midwife |
I may or may not have gone out to dinner with two very good friends and wondered allowed if my incessant back popping had caused this. Yes, utterly ridiculous. But, it shows just how clouded my brain was and how closely I examined everything I had done.
Our week was spent in constant prayer and I had daily instances (usually multiple times a day) of emotional breakdowns. Throughout the week we got phone calls, texts, emails, and visits with friends that proved to us the power of the body of Christ and the comfort that He can provide through His people.
After a sweet phone call from my Pappaw, I began to memorize Psalm 139, with a vow to have the entire Psalm memorized by the time baby Morgan arrives. I also found great comfort in one of the things I turn to most often, music. I listened to lyrics closer than ever before and poured out my heart to God.
God, our desire is for our baby to be free of any chromosomal abnormalities. We beg this of you. But, as Jesus said on the cross....Father, if there is any other way, take this cup from me. Yet, not my will, but yours.
Hardest. Prayer. Ever.
Broken Hallelujah, The Afters
Never Once, Matt Redman
Praise you in This Storm, Casting Crowns
You are For Me, Kari Jobe
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